Take it Easy

Me. I’m so in right now. Pretty much everyone loves me. Know why? I’m chill. Sums it up right there. You’re go, go, go. Me? I’m slow….slow…slow. Just look how into this tree I am. Have YOU ever been this into a tree? I doubt it. But you know what? Your ancestors totally were.

I think that’s why people are drawn to me. I remind them of a simpler time. A time when just hanging out was fine. Totally fine. Before your email inbox, Netflix queue and drive-through Starbucks, you were okay just looking at bugs and watching clouds. There’s a part of you that wishes you could be this laid back again. I’m simple. And deep down you wish you could be too.

Plus, I’m non-threatening. Most humans like animals they know they could take in a fight if they had too. I have some pretty wicked looking claws, but they’re mostly for show. There’s utility in them for sure, but you aren’t threatened. They could probably disembowel you, but we both know you’d dodge my slow-mo kung-fu style pretty easily. I clearly wouldn’t do that anyway. I haven’t trained for combat. I’m a lover, not a fighter.

I know the rest of me looks pretty ridiculous too. The hair. The goofy nose. The little smile – even when I’m not smiling. But guess what? I usually am smiling. What’s not to be happy about? I got it made in the shade. It’s not just a lifestyle, it’s necessity. The shade helps hide me from eagles. One bastard snatched up my auntie a few years back. Excuse my language, but it still hurts. I told her. “Those berries aren’t worth it!” But she didn’t listen.

Aunt Mertle was out in the open and we all saw it coming. She made a break for it, but sloths can’t sprint that well. Our top speed doesn’t actually qualify as “speed” at all. She knew this, but there was a particularly ripe berry patch she thought she could get to in time. She did not.

So we hang in the trees. It’s safe. It’s mellow. It’s quiet. We don’t check our socials every 10 minutes. We don’t crash our cars or try to “look busy.” We’re not accountable to unrealistic expectations for what society considers the right body image is, or someone else’s definition of success. We just live our own life. And life is good.

You should try it.